I recently started reading Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich” As you know, I am big time into personal development and usually try to have at least one great transformational book on the go at any time. This particular book was never on my “must-read” list but when it was the only book that looked remotely interesting at the airport bookstore in Bali, I thought I’d give it a go. I mean it is a self-help classic and I figured that if so many personal development gurus I admire today credit Napoleon Hill for kick-starting their own personal growth, the book had to be a winner. Not to mention Hill’s promise to reveal Andrew Carnegie’s “super-secret formula to true and lasting success” and “having whatever you want in life.”
How could I refuse?
Within minutes of reading it I realized that book was a bit outdated (it was, after-all, written in the 30′s) but I kept reading in hopes that if I thought hard enough money would start growing out of my ears. Needless to say that didn’t happen, but I did start feeling a bit green somewhere around chapter two.
The chapter is simply called “Desire“ which is what Mr. Hill says is the starting point of all achievement and the first step to riches. I have to say I wholeheartedly agree with is. There is no way you can achieve success without truly wanting it. Not just wishing or hoping for it… but craving it as if you’ll never feel fully satisfied until this desire is quenched.
It was when Hill started outlining the “Six Steps to Turn Desires into Gold“ that something struck a nerve in me. The majority of the steps seemed reasonable and made good sense to me, except for step 2. Something made me read it over and over again:
“Determine exactly what you intend to give in return for the money you desire. There is no such reality as something for nothing.”
What!?! I have to give something up in order to become successful? That is the biggest load of bullshit I have ever heard. Outdated or not – that statement is absolutely FALSE.
Of course we have all heard the phrase “there is no such thing as a free lunch” but I am telling you there is – and it tastes damn good. Any modern-day marketer, including myself, knows that it’s the free lunches that keep our customers coming back for more.
Hill then goes on to say that…
“all who succeed in life get off to a bad start, and pass through many heartbreaking struggles before they “arrive” and that the turning point in the lives of those who succeed usually comes at the moment of some crisis.”
This is one of the most mentally debilitating statements I have ever heard. It plants in the mind of anyone who reads it the limiting belief that one must suffer many monumental failures and hit rock-bottom before they can ever become truly successful.
What a crock of shit.
If every success must come from an equal or greater failure, than how do those of us who have never failed monumentally, suffered from a serious addiction, lived on the streets or lost millions of dollars ever become successful?
Let me tell you.
We have the constant desire to become better.
I am living the life of my dreams right now and I don’t have a single war wound or battle scar to show for it. I am where I am because I never settle (and will never settle) for mediocrity.
Yes, we all hear about the amazing rich and successful people in the world who came from nothing, were beaten as children, homeless, abused, poor, sick, lonely… the list of hardships goes on and on.
The good ol’ rags to riches stories. God we love those don’t we? Oprah, Jim Carrey, Chris Gardner and, of course, Andrew Carnegie. All classic stories of people who came from woeful beginnings and are now living (or once lived) the American Dream (queue “Amazing Grace“).
Don’t get me wrong. These people’s stories are truly inspirational and I applaud them for getting to where they are now. But I bet if you asked them what got them there they wouldn’t say “all my miserable failures and life crises.” They would tell you they got to the top because of their passion to achieve greatness and never settling for anything less.
You may argue that for one to want to make a change in their life they need to feel pain. To this I will agree with you, but pain does not necessarily have to be a life-shattering experience. The fear of forever being stuck in mediocrity can be enough to spark a change for the better.
To believe that in order to become successful you must first give a part of yourself up hinders your self-growth. You may never become successful because instead of focusing on ways you can improve your life, you keep waiting for the big failure or hardship that you’ve been told has to happen first. Well let me tell you… if you are expecting it to happen, it will because (I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again) what you focus on expands!
Think about this for a moment.
Only economists will tell you that nothing can be completely free, that something for nothing is impossible… yet even they will admit that for economic theory to hold true, all external factors must remain constant. Well, we all know that we do not live in a perfect world (thank god) and at some point behavioral economic theory comes into play.
We know that:
- supply does not always equal demand
- give does not always equal get
- success does not always equal failure
My advice to you – Don’t be afraid to desire better, to achieve greatness, to want more in life. Chances are, you’ll get it easier than you think.
To Living The Dream,
~ A
photo courtesy of arbeer.de
Heresy! How dare you criticize the awesome Hill?
LOL.
Good post!
Hi Alex! Great post! I like it!
Hmm… I read blogs on a similar topic, but i never visited your blog. I added it to favorites and i’ll be your constant reader.
Good point. So your saying that my mediocre-to- riches novel about a bank teller who gets promoted to bank manager after years of dedicated service will never be a best seller?
bummer
love the post. we get so many rags to riches story it’s sometimes a little disheartening when I reflect on my normal life.
I had a great childhood, great teenage years, and now I’m in my fabulous early twenties. And yes things’ll get better and more successful. And no, i won’t hit rock bottom before that happens. hells no.
here’s to the free lunch (which I had yesterday!)
I believe there is another way to look at the statement, “Determine exactly what you intend to give in return for the money you desire. There is no such reality as something for nothing.”
Most of what people want, like money, requires a flow from somewhere to them. In order to allow a flow in to you it will help to create a flow out from you. I don’t believe Hill means you have to sacrifice something of yourself. I believe he means you have to create something and flow it out in exchange for what you flow in.
I believe the second quote, “all who succeed in life get off to a bad start, and pass through many heartbreaking struggles before they “arrive” and that the turning point in the lives of those who succeed usually comes at the moment of some crisis,” is there as an encouragement to persist through difficult times. While not required for success, difficult times prior to success are common among people who succeed. He is saying that when you push toward your goal you will likely encounter some roadblocks.
But I agree with you in this sense: If you proceed with the full assumption that there is no such thing as something in your way, you will arrive.
Very interesting and amusing subject. I read with great pleasure.
Groovy stuff but.. I agree with Bill, especially concerning both quotes, but on the first quote: “Determine exactly what you intend to give in return for the money you desire. There is no such reality as something for nothing.”
When we want to consume value, i.e. buy an iphone or a car, we have to have first created some value for someone else. What was the value that we created? This is what I believe Hill is referring to when he says “give”. You must serve others in order to receive and it does not always have to do with money. Sure you can get a free lunch but there is a cost, an exchange happening. Perhaps your friend or coworker values your company or your help on a personal matter. Even in the case of giving a hug, it does not cost anything but the exchange does require both parties to give and to receive. Giving does not mean losing. I think that a person does grow as they give and can become a better person for it.
Perspective determines action.
Anyways working at MV must be cool and it sounds like your enjoying what you do.
~cheers
Hello Alex,
Thanks for the blog post Alex, I just discovered your blog and I am enjoying it.
As a big fan of Think and Grow Rich this post definitely made me think. I read your post with an open mind and a willingness to challenge my current beliefs and assumptions. However, after thinking about it, I disagree with your analysis of the first Napolean Hill quote …
“Determine exactly what you intend to give in return for the money you desire. There is no such reality as something for nothing.”
To which you said
“What!?! I have to give something up in order to become successful? That is the biggest load of bullshit I have ever heard. Outdated or not – that statement is absolutely FALSE.
Of course we have all heard the phrase “there is no such thing as a free lunch” but I am telling you there is – and it tastes damn good. Any modern-day marketer, including myself, knows that it’s the free lunches that keep our customers coming back for more.”
Your line of reasoning doesn’t make sense to me. Maybe you have a different definition of what it means to “give’ something than Napolean Hill and I do. I think that it is fantastic that you have created the life of your dreams at such a young age. I am also very confident that you did that by giving. The money didn’t just flow to you because you wanted it to. You created value and you gave it to others. You gave your time to learn skills and to cultivate your talents. Your blogs for example are something that you give to others. You give your time and talents in doing the outstanding work that I hear you do with MindValley.
Everything I have seen that you do is focused on giving and creating value for others. This is why I am perplexed at you calling that first quote bullshit.
You say that “it’s the free lunches that keep our customers coming back for more.” To me this perfectly illustrates Napolean Hill’s quote, you are giving something to your customers. You may not being getting money back in direct return for the blog posts or other “freebies” that you give to people but those things are certainly profitable to you. They profit you in building trust, rapport, and gratitude with people. This gives you influence which can bring you money from multiple sources. In your case it seems like it certainly does bring you money because you are financially successful. I am willing to bet all of the money that has flown to you has been because you gave your, time, talents and value.
Yes, you are giving something for free to your followers and to prospective customers. But unless those people do something, the “freebies” you give them won’t do them any good. They have to give their time and efforts in learning and applying the things you give them.
The Law of Attraction does work. However, it works in concert with the Law of Action. Money does not flow to people without them taking action. It is an incredibly powerful way to create what you want including money, but it is not a “free lunch.” You may not have to “give” any money to attract the money that you desire but you do have to “give” your time and effort to create and “give” value to others.
From what I have seen, you have “given” a lot “in return for the money you desire,” so it appears that you have done exactly what Napolean Hill said to do in his quote. So once again, I’m not sure why you think the first quote is bullshit. I have the thought that in your desire to challenge conventional wisdom and to be controversial you might have misinterpreted Napolean Hill’s meaning. I think your willingness to cut through the bullshit and shoot straight is a great strength of yours, however sometimes our greatest strengths can create blind spots.
I am open to challenging and changing my understanding on this point, being open is the only way to learn and grow. Who knows, maybe I am the one missing something. I would love to hear further explanation from you on this, I hope you are open to my opinion as well.
All the best to you, Keep up the good work and have a great day Alex!
Aaron Neal
sosaaron@gmail.com
Hi Aaron,
I appreciate your feedback and I of course agree with you that in life we ARE constantly giving in order to get. However, this wasn’t exactly what I was getting at. You see, what I DON’T agree with is how this quote leads into the second which states that we must fail monumentally and struggle before we will ever “make it.”
This places the assumption and expectation in one’s mind that before they will ever be successful, they must endure strife. For me, the Law of Attraction works because I refuse to believe this statement. I act as if I cannot fail.
I believe that if you are “waiting” to fail so that you can eventually become successful, you most certainly will fail!
The expectation of failure is a limiting belief that will hold you back from becoming successful and that is what I believe.
Do you see the difference?
Anyways, I am so happy to see you taking part in this discussion. I wrote this post to be controversial on purpose as I wanted to spark a fascinating conversation like this one. So thank you.
And for the record, I AM a huge Napoleon Hill fan
Just food for thought.
Cheers!
Alexandra
Hi Alex,
Great blog! It’s truly awesome to see someone my age as passionate about personal development as I! (Are there more out there?)
As for Napolean Hill’s 2nd quote, I read into it that when faced with a failure or serious strife, people have the choice to give up or keep going…and a valuable lesson is learned as a result. It is this lesson, regardless of how traumatic the failure and however we learn it, that pushes us on to success.
Fundamentally, humans are hardwired to be more motivated to avoid “baddies” (my psych prof’s term for negative stimuli) than to pursue “goodies” (positive).
I think that’s essentially what this quote boils down to, and I bet that even for people who haven’t experienced serious failures or strife, there were plenty of defining moments growing up where something negative happened and they swore that thing would never happen again.
This could be as simple as someone saying you couldn’t do something, or putting down one of your brilliant ideas. Although it may not seem “heartbreaking” now, I bet it was at the time, and has shaped your perspective of the world ever since. (Insert Tangent Here) The majority of our beliefs about the world are formed by the age of 12 (scary thought eh). Now, my parents were great, but not perfect, and school was ok, but not great, and kids can be mean in general…so, I would say that the individual child’s experience would reflect how it is they need to learn the lessons that will get them over “Napolean’s Hill”, and onto the path to success. (End Tangent Here)
Napolean Hill also believed “sex transmutation” to be the strongest motivating and most powerful factor (I can vouch for this one haha), followed closely by anger (correct me if i’m wrong it’s been a while since i read it). Both of these have to do with getting rid of “baddies”, being loneliness and injustice, respectively.
I agree that if you’re waiting to fail, you will, and I quite like your paradigm of “act as if I cannot fail”. But, I venture the notion that those successful people who haven’t had a distinctive traumatic turning point or experienced extreme strife learned the same lesson required as those who did, simply in a different manner and at a younger age.
Ryan
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Ryan. I definitely agree with you on a lot of counts. I tend to take an extreme opinion from time to time to stir up thought provoking convos like this one.
Awesome stuff. Glad you like my blog.